NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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