Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
