You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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