I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
