I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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