she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
