dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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