You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm both gender and math confused
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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