letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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