He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
