I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
