You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
