I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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