Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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