birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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