Is it normal to miss your booty call?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
