my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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