I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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