? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize