If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
