I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
