I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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