He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
