Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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