apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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