She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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