I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Farmville is her only friend.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
