We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
