So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize