Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
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