i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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