remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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