i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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