I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
