2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
