he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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