Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
