1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
