The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
