I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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