Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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