Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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