i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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