i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
