I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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