did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
