This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
