Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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