Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
