ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I intend to get homeless drunk
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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