i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
