Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
