For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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