I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
