honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
