I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
