He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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