Sry I called you an 8
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
