You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
