Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
